Saturday At It's Best

I had a weekend alone with Oliver and Benjamin because Shane went hunting.

It was entirely what I needed. I played "stay-at-home mom" and did everything I wanted to do with my kids. Here are some moments from our Saturday together.

We started the morning watching Mr. Rogers. It was Oliver's first time seeing the show and he really loved it; probably even more than I did as a kid. The rest of the weekend he wanted to wear button or zip-up shirts like Mr. Rogers, and wear shoes with laces. :)

I had time to just do simple household chores that normally feel like a burden on a weeknight. I enjoy doing laundry. Especially when I don't have to. But who takes a picture of their laundry? I do.

Our next activity was taking a trip to the neighborhood library! Sounds normal, but I haven't been to the library in a couple of years. It was exciting to browse with my little boys and pick out a pile of goodies. Being the first time to the library with both Oliver and Benjamin, it was fun to watch how they both enjoyed it differently. Oliver quietly wandered around the aisles picking out books and putting them back, and helped me carry the load when it got too heavy. Benjamin thought the library was a maze or playground and he ran up and down aisles pulling everything off shelves squealing loudly when he saw I was chasing him.

I took this photo in the library parking lot through my rainy windshield. I am just struck by the vibrant colors of fall right now. I feel like my eyes are huge just taking in the beauty of it.

From the library we went to the Rosauers/Huckleberry's store near our house. I let Oliver ride in the car cart and just slowly walked around giving myself time to remember all the things I always forget to buy. Light bulbs, baby snacks, tissues, tupperware. Then we ate some macaroni and cheese at the cafe in the store and called that lunch before heading home. (I took a photo on my phone but can't get it to upload for some lame reason. I know the reason...it's a lame phone.)

While Benjamin took a nap, I seized the opportunity to roast a pound of Yemen coffee beans. I bet you've never tried Yemen coffee before! :) When they reach the desired level of roasting I have to run outside with the colander of beans to let them cool because a) the smoke is so intense and b) the chaff from the beans gets everywhere.

After Benjamin woke up we played with sticks in the yard and played in the hammock. The boys would laugh when a big gust of wind would throw leaves all over us. I was having too much fun to take any pictures.

I made this for dinner. I thought it was pretty tasty, but the boys didn't think so. C'mon, kids!



After dinner Oliver asked if we could go to the bookstore. Hastings is only 4 blocks away, and I wasn't worn out yet, so I agreed. I let them run around and play with the toys. Oliver brought his own leftover birthday money so he could buy something small. He picked these out.

The T-Rex is for himself, and the raccoon he bought for Benjamin.

When evening came we read all of our library books.






Oliver stayed up late with me to watch the 2nd Harry Potter movie then fell asleep on the sofa chair. Carrying him to bed was the perfect way to end my day. I think we'd all agree that a sleeping child is a taste of true peace.

It was like a vacation day for me. I've been needing that kind of Saturday for a long time.

And I took a picture of myself to prove I was really there. Ha. Ha.

Of One Kind and Another

Some hours burst with inspiration to the point I feel quite immobilized.

And again it started with coffee…

Followed by a string of really great blog posts from strangers who appreciate art and beauty. My Avett Brothers Pandora station helped too.

What do you feel when you are overwhelmingly inspired? I feel like sharing. It's most unsatisfying to see something beautiful when you're the only one who sees it. It's such a natural tendency in us to want to share experiences and emotion. So, I call someone, or blog about it, or just write it down so that there's at least a possibility I can share it later.

When this kind of inspiration comes over me I panic a bit because I know how fleeting it is. It's a gift and I want to be a good steward, ya know?

My first urge is to be productive and squeeze every bit of juice I have into something that will somehow be profitable. I have an addiction to being productive and often feel a moment should never be wasted. But as I get older I'm working on just enjoying or letting it be. To sit still and savor. I realize that moments are intrinsically valuable and don't need to be productive in order for it to be worth something. I see a great need in myself to let go of productivity. I'm sure it's useful and makes me a great employee and teammate. But not always a good mom or wife or friend. Just be.

*     *     *     *     *     a few hours later     *     *     *     *     *

The fleeting moment did pass. Inspiration of one kind left and another arrived. A very different kind. I went downtown with the UGM writer and my office roomie, Barb, to take photos of this homeless couple she interviewed over the weekend. Sammy and Amber are young and have lost all rights to their children. Their childhood pasts aren't pretty at all. They use meth to numb their pain. It was so good to be down there talking to people. But it was hard. Their story is tragic; their plight not very hopeful. I did get some photos, although it was awkward and they were nervous and I rushed the process. So not very many turned out. I hope I have at least one I can use for our next newsletter. Barb and I left feeling a lot of despair for them and for homelessness in our community as a whole. It's a lot to carry. It's a huge story that needs told on a regular basis. But we don't have a perfect solution. UGM can be a solution for some people, but many who are on the streets won't or can't be helped. But maybe we can help others see the homeless as people like you and me. Barb shared a link with me about a photo project on homelessness in San Diego and I was inspired by what the photographer said:

"I think that making that connection is the first step. Then hopefully more people will put pressure on our city leaders, more people will volunteer, more people will donate to some of the great service providers in the city."

"…it was clear that we have to listen to individual stories if we're to understand homelessness in our community."

 So, I'm re-inspired to be a part of a movement in Spokane that is helping the homeless. Pain can be inspiring, and I experienced that today. I'm inspired to help Barb tell their story and I hope I can do it justice. I'm praying a lot because I'm scared out of my mind that I won't do it right and I don't feel worthy to communicate such an important message that is so close to God's heart. I know a little how Moses felt when God said:

"And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the 

way the Egyptians are oppressing them.

So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the 

Israelites out of Egypt.

But Moses said to God, 'Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring 

the Israelites out of Egypt?'"

And this is how God responded: "I will be with you."

I wrote a poem (kind of) to express my experience in some way. I used some of what Sammy said today and some of my own thoughts when I put myself in his worn-out shoes.

LOOK.

Look at me.

I'm under a bridge, but I'm not hiding.

I don't trust nobody, but I'll face ya.

I'll look ya in the eye.

At least for a few seconds.

"Don't wear your house shoes in the yard."

Ya never know when you'll have to run.

Every day is a bad day and I'm scared to go to sleep.

I don't wanna take your money.

But I need a place to stay. A place to clean up every day and shave so I can go to work.

I wear out a pair of socks a day. I need socks.

My feet hurt.

At least I have her. We're all each other has.

Coffee Cata-List

A list spurred by thankfulness.

1. Mary Beth. For spontaneously buying me a bag of Thomas Hammer coffee beans. Local. Freshly roasted. Deelish. You inspired this blog (hence the awesome title to this post).
2. Northwest weather. I was made for it.
3. Sons that love waking up and are all smiles in the morning. We need that in our family.
4. Friendships that, in their own way, withstand time and distance. Particularly thinking of my high school clan: Stephanie, Lindsay and Norman. Miss you girls.
5. The nearness of fall.
6. √  .....Always satisfying.
7. The huge, awkward grocery cart with the plastic car attached to the front. Oliver's joy makes it worth it. And it's nice passing another parent who sacrificed their dignity for the same cause, I don't feel so ridiculous.
8. Skype. Making it so you don't seem so far way.
9. BBQ sandwich and blackberries to get me through the afternoon. I love the kitchen staff where I work. They're alway surprising us with food when we most need it. One thing this place is good at is hospitality.

Plum Worn Out

Too sleepy to finish his plum.

11 months...whaaat?

This is crazy. Benjamin is almost 1 year old! Life has moved so fast this last year I'm almost falling out of my chair. He's a strong walker and climber. Our predictions from the womb are holding true. We figured this boy would be a go-getter with lots of energy. He doesn't have much desire for learning words and reading books. There are too many other things to do! Like learn to climb up on couches and beds, bang on Dad's djembe, find a way to sneak into the bathroom and splash in the toilet (not a joke). I'm not saying he doesn't care about communicating. He LOVES to tell you what he thinks. You WILL hear his side of the story. You might not understand, but you'll know he cares. He is the loudest when he knows you aren't listening. He is probably going to be one of those tantrum-throwing 2-year-olds. So, I need to start working on showing him that I am listening and I do understand how it feels. It's tragic when you want to play with sharp, pointy pencils and no one will let you. Poor guy.

I'm wondering if Benjamin will be a good artist though. I handed him a crayon when Oliver and I were drawing pictures and instead of holding it in a fist like most babies do, he turns the crayon around and holds it like a paintbrush and start scribbling away. Made Shane and I exclaim proudly.

This last month Benjamin has started taking a liking to brushing his teeth. That took us by surprise. He sees  us doing it and wants to join in the fun. He's pretty good at it, but needs more than 2 teeth if he wants to spend 5 whole minutes scrubbing.

It sure is fun to see how children can look and act so differently. Makes me want another one just to see what else our genes can come up with! Haha. ...I'm not in any hurry though. I'm enjoying not having any baby fat. This isn't likely to last forever.

Cleaning House

Do you ever notice a change of seasons in your life and you don't know how it started or why it's happening so suddenly? That's what this last week has seemed like to me. Someone must be praying for us. No, we haven't bought a house, I haven't changed jobs, and there have been no family emergencies. Shane and I are seeing chaos in our house slowly being turned to order. It's exactly something I asked God for not more than three weeks ago. Everything was (and still is, actually) really messy both physically and internally for our family. Shane and I both realized we needed to make some big changes about ourselves and trusted that those changes would carry over into our household. It's hard to change old habits. It's hard to face junk in yourself and admit that you're hurting more than yourself, but your spouse and children with those habits.

Shane lead the way and started training for a triathlon. He's been swimming across lakes and running miles on a foot that was broken in four places a year and a half ago. It hurts, but not enough to make him stop. I'm amazed at his sudden motivation and diligence. I need to get in shape too but am at a serious loss at how to start and when on Earth I'll possibly find time. So I signed up to get an online personal health coach through one of my work benefits (I am blessed to have such a great job!). Baby steps, right? She has some good suggestions and I'm excited to try them.

We've been slowly removing processed sugars from our diet. We're not Nazis about it yet, but it's making a difference. Now I just need to be better about avoiding them at work (people just love to donate pastries and chocolate to this place). I did stop buying coffee creamers and now just use palm sugar and cream. And fruit replaced sugar on our cereal. Baby steps.

Last Saturday morning Shane spotted a HUGE wolf spider in our living room. It ran away at lightning speed and as Shane was searching in corners he noticed another spider. And another. And another. In a state of school-girl frenzy we tore our living room apart and ended up killing about 12 spiders, big and small in our living room. Talk about a motivator for cleaning every corner of the house! We ended up clearing the entire living room of furniture, books and decorations, swept and mopped the floors, dusted and separated out every item we really didn't need to give to thrift stores. The biggest accomplishment of all was finally removing our television. Bad habit: GONE. Thank you, vampire spider, for being the catalyst to life change. Our entryway is still crowded with some random misplaced items, so the chaos isn't gone. But we are suddenly motivated to tackle every room in the house the same way. This Saturday: kitchen and bedrooms. This is what I prayed for! Order in our house!

There have been other beautiful examples of answers to this prayer. Shane is designing his own method of teaching Oliver to draw letters in Adobe Illustrator, and it's really clicking for Oliver (with a little help from Goldfish snacks). Shane and I have taken some big steps in our relationship as well. We've also added some weekly one-on-one time to our calendar.

Something is happening. It's difficult right now because we're impatient to be out of our mess and living in a clean home and healthy lifestyle. But some things don't happen fast, especially if you're going to be thorough and do the job well.

10 months, yo.

Leaps and bounds this past month!

Benjamin is now walking. But only in straight lines. :)
He has two beautiful bottom teeth!
He's getting even LOUDER.
He can clap, wave and say "haaaa" (hi).
His hair is getting much lighter and even curly in the back.
His diet is consisting of more table food and water.
He is more clingy and shies away from other people.
We started leaving him in the nursery at church and he has a really great time it seems. He's just way too loud for the church service!
If you say, "I'm gonna get you!" He squeals and crawls in the other direction.
He dances every time he hears a beat.
Benjamin celebrated his first Fourth of July. We don't have pictures of the ground fireworks we played with, but here he is that same weekend.