Friday, December 31, 2010

A Decade of Life Change.

Instead of looking past on just the last year, it might be more interesting to reflect all that has taken place in the past decade of my life.

Survived Y2K.
Discovered a love for theatre.
Learned to play guitar.
My older sister got married as I continued to search for the love of my own life.
Graduated high school thinking it was a big event in life and I would be close to my friends forever.
Discovered the thrill of art and design.
Took my first trip by air.
Found out I could sing.
Jumped into two serious relationships (not simultaneously) and broke hearts.
Experienced what it was like to be rejected by the church.
Felt what it was like to fail my parents.
Tasted my first desire for world travel.
Found out I was a sinner too.
Survived the rebel in my soul.
Moved to Arkansas. She needed Wide Open Spaces.  ...and a decent education.
Swore off relationships for at least a couple of years,
Then met the man I wanted to marry and asked him out to ballroom dancing.
Asked the hardest questions about my faith.
Experienced true acceptance and mercy.
Crammed 4 years worth of graphic design education into 2.5 years.
Traveled to and fell in love with the Northwest USA.
Met the Pacific Ocean and Cascade Mountains.
Experienced culture shock for the first time in the Morgan log cabin.
Left the United States for the first time to eat ice cream. 
Convinced the weirdest guy in the world to marry me.
Made the second biggest commitment of my life and gave up my Neumanhood.
Received my BS in Graphic Design.
Moved to the Northwest USA.
Learned to snowboard.
Made new friends with Shane's Whitworth College friends.
Saw the large reality of homelessness in the city.
Made a decision to have a baby.
Almost lost my father-in-law.
Obtained and quit my first design job in 6 months time.
Ran away to the backwoods of Idaho and lived with the moose and wolves.
Developed an appreciation for isolation.
Made friends with lumberjacks.
Welcomed my younger sister's first child and walked in her wedding.
Did my own research, decided to have a natural birth and came out of the experience a new woman.
Fell in love with the sweetest little boy in the WORLD.
Moved back to Spokane taking a big leap from stay-at-home mom to full-time designer.
Became friends with the homeless and grew a passion for helping the poor.
Developed friendships like I've never known before.
Accepted and conquered my first challenge of rebranding a company.
Traveled overseas for the first time to Indonesia and will never be the same.
Said a final goodbye to my last three grandparents in one year.
Experienced the amazing love and community of the church.
Decided with Shane to become a family of four.
Said a final goodbye to Shane's grandpa and played/sang at his military funeral.
Almost lost my father-in-law again.
Found contentment in the city.
Fell in love with the happiest little boy in the WORLD and felt my heart grow larger and fuller than ever.
Celebrated the birth of my sister's second child/first daughter.
Reentered the working world as a mother of two.
Started a new endeavor to learn and experience the spiritual disciplines.
Experienced my first Christmas without being homesick for Illinois.
Almost stayed up until midnight to celebrate the coming of 2011.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

My 3 year old

Oliver is 3 now. He's so big! And so little.

Three is the age I started to retain memories of life.
My dad says he remembers his kids most when we were two and three.
There's a sweet innocence and an excitement for life and learning.
People say that time flies and your kids are grown before you know it. But I don't exactly feel like these last few years have flown by. Instead I feel like Oliver has always been a part of my life. My life before him is so distant and seems decades ago. The girl I was before him seems so vastly different. My emotions, my motives, my strongest desires have changed.

One thing I realized this past week is that I used to think I knew what intense emotion was. I used to think I knew what it was like to experience love and attachment to its fullest. But I had NO IDEA the intensity of emotion and love I would experience when becoming a parent. It's the kind of intensity you can die from. That's how it feels. It's amazing. And it started with Oliver 3 years ago. My existence will never be the same.

I'm yours forever, Oliver.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Benjamin, 3 months

Benjamin turns 3 months today! He is changing so quickly. Faster than I remember Oliver changing.

He giggles and squeals with laughter at so many things. Especially Daddy. And his mirrored reflection.
He's drooling like crazy. Are teeth coming early? Like, really early?
He's kicking like crazy, strengthening those muscles and pushes against the floor to stand.
He's showing interest in his hands and tries to grab things (hasn't quite mastered that yet).
He is definitely the most social 3 month old I've ever met. He'll smile and coo at almost anyone who looks him in the eye. Even when he's tired and a bit grumpy, he loves personal interaction.
Shane just discovered he likes his head rubbed. He smiles real big and even gives a giggle when we rub his soft little head. So cute!

We are adjusting with my second week back at work. He takes a bottle very well and loves being with Daddy, so it has been an easy transition so far. I keep a picture at my desk and talk with Shane a couple times a day, so I don't feel so far away. I am very happy with how Benjamin is growing and adapting to life in this world. Who would have thought there would be room in our itty bitty home and itty bitty hearts for another person. I never thought I could love someone like I love Oliver. But of course I do. Benjamin brings a whole new kind of life to our home. His energy and delight for life is so refreshing and motivating. He fits perfectly with us.