The Wonder of Christmas

I asked God a few weeks ago for the wonder of the Christmas season. That I may understand the birth of his Son in a new, deeper way. I don't know why he didn't just give it to me right then so I could have been more worshipful these last few weeks! Hah. Perhaps it would have been pearls given to the swine. But today, in the middle of a tight work deadline, the middle of the day in the middle of the week, my eyes are stinging and my heart is in my throat as I ponder the prophesied Savior born in Bethlehem. This place of worship came to me out of thin air when I listened to this "song," and hasn't left me yet. It's a place of wonder in my heart that only God can plant. I asked, and he gave…today. 11:30 a.m., December 14. I would not have guessed my heart was ready today.

I can ask. Seek. Knock. But who am I to predict or suggest that God will show up or I will experience Him at the time I ask Him to? We are so limited to time and space, but friends, God is not. I may knock, and weeks later he comes to the door. I do not understand His perfect timing.

God is a mystery, and I am captivated beyond imagination.

Love > Happiness

I hate feeling low or sad or unmotivated. Waves of these feelings occasionally come over me and I often cannot figure out why or where they came from. It seems so out of nowhere and I think to myself, “I have no reason whatsoever to feel like this.” It used to really bother me that this would happen because I can’t pinpoint a cause or prevent it from happening. Then thoughts of  “am I depressed? do I need help? what’s wrong with me?” annoy the heck out of me and only make it worse. Well, I just had another one of those moments and then I miraculously had a thought that was really helpful to the moment and will be in the future if I don’t forget it.

“So what if you don’t feel on top of the world right now. That’s more than okay. In fact, it’s healthy.”

Oh…well, thanks. I can move on now. That was easy.

I like my feelings. Even the ones that aren’t enjoyable. They are true to life and are a part of what keeps me sane actually. And even if society and the media make us think life is about being happy…it’s not. In fact that is a huge lie that I wish I could erase from this earth. Life is not about happiness. Life is bigger than that, and this past year I have had a chance to really see what is more than happiness. Love. Sacrifice. Jesus even said “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” The greatest man to walk the earth did not live for happiness. That’s awesome. And the reason we receive so much joy from putting the lives of others before our own is because it’s right. Because it is more important and critical than happiness itself. So I’m putting happiness on a shelf and letting it happen when it happens. I’m not going to reach for it. It exists and sometimes it doesn’t. I have more important and meaningful things to pour myself into. Happy  Best New Year.